The New Rules for Blondes by Coppock Selena

Author:Coppock, Selena [Coppock, Selena]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2013-04-23T05:00:00+00:00

PART THREE

Blonde Behavior

CHAPTER 11

RULE: Keep It Classy

Earlier we discussed the brassy-vs.-ashy phenomenon. If you aspire to be an ashy blonde, Grace Kelly, ice queen type, then you’d better review your Emily Post etiquette book because women like that wouldn’t be caught dead using the wrong fork. Grace Kelly and other cool, withholding blondes all have one thing in common (other than their use of purple shampoo): class. Your class is revealed to the world through your clothing, behavior, activities, and disposition. In Europe, where the classes are extremely stratified, manners and etiquette are hugely consequential. In the United States, the American dream is built on the concept of class ascension. As Americans, we believe that anyone can move classes and quite easily marry up or marry down. It’s not just for socialites anymore! As a by-product of that, manners and etiquette are given less weight in the United States. This difference between Europe and the United States means that Americans traveling in Europe can easily offend or horrify Europeans by lacking manners and being ignorant of etiquette. And as my mother says about etiquette gaffes, “There’s really no recovery from that. You are expected to know how to behave—especially in Europe.”

My parents frequently lament the loss of manners and social graces in American society, and I learned everything I know about manners from them. When I was a kid, my parents, sisters, and I ate dinner together every night, and we’d all talk about our days and catch up. My sisters and I weren’t permitted to leave the dinner table until we asked to be excused, and we were expected to help with clearing plates, loading the dishwasher, and the like. When my parents had friends over to the house, the three of us daughters were put to work greeting guests, putting away coats, passing hors d’oeuvres, and generally learning how to be polite. I didn’t realize it at the time, but these family rituals taught me how to be a well-behaved kid and I grew into a classy blonde. When we reached our teen years, my father bought tome-like etiquette books for my sisters and me, and these books have served as useful reference manuals. Both of my parents are very gracious and know a lot about the appropriate things to do and ways to carry yourself based on the circumstances, and they passed that down to my sisters and me. My mother spouts off un-PC and hilarious advice and tidbits about manners. Some of her greatest hits include: “When a person snaps her gum, it’s as though she is telling the world, ‘I’m dumb, I’m dumb, I’m dumb.’ ” “Cruises are horrible.” “Red Lobster is seafood for landlocked idiots.”

I sat down with my ashy blonde mother and grilled her about assorted tidbits for keeping it classy that you might not find in your standard etiquette book. My mother was educated at a Swiss boarding school (just like that mean, icy blonde stepmother threatens in The Parent Trap) and at an all-girls school on the Upper East Side of Manhattan (just like Gossip Girl).

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